


take my hand

by chibitalex



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: M/M, im kanoshin trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-13 10:08:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2146740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibitalex/pseuds/chibitalex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>and i know we'll make it through. [kanoshin drabble requests from writing tumblr. updated when new requests are completed.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "That's a good look for you."

**Author's Note:**

> request @ rxxshintaro.tumblr.com

Shuuya stared at himself in the mirror. The person inside it didn’t even seem real, more like a waxed figure that vaguely resembled him, but only in the slightest.

As he spun around to get a better view, the skirt fabric moved with him. He could feel the cloth brush against his upper thighs and see the lace from his underwear- No,  _panties_ \- just underneath the fabric, taunting him with their stupid lace and their dumb little bows.

If someone had told his former self that he would one day be dressing up in miniskirts and frilly underwear for the pleasure of Shintaro Kisaragi, he most likely would have laughed bitterly. Maybe he would have gagged. But either way, that younger Shuuya certainly wouldn’t have believed them.

The fact remained that Shintaro was waiting on the couch, probably red as a beet and scrolling through online forums, only barely skimming the words as his foot tapped impatiently at the ground.

Swallowing his pride, Shuuya stepped out of the room, his hands clutching tightly at the pleats of the skirt and tugging down at the fabric to protect his modesty. Though at this point, it was already gone. There wasn’t much of a reason to do so anymore.

Shintaro threw down his phone almost immediately upon hearing the bathroom door creak open. The boy visibly gulped as soon as he caught a glimpse of the garments.

"That’s… that’s a good look for you."

Shuuya could barely hear him. His heartbeat thudded in his ears, loud and steady as he stood, glued to the spot on their floor.

Shintaro approached him quietly, his hands tentatively darting out to grip at his sides and slide under his shirt.

He blinked several times, registering the familiar heat of his boyfriend’s touch before tilting his head up to press their lips together. Shintaro smiled against his lips, and if it was possible, Shuuya’s heartbeat quickened even more, fluttering like a hummingbird’s. As soon as they parted, Shintaro was still smiling faintly, his fingertips brushing along the sides of his ribcage.

Shuuya nodded, reaching out to smooth a thumb over the boy’s smile, as if that would set it into place forever.

"And that’s a good look for you."


	2. "You forgot to say the magic word."

"Shin."

"No."

"Shin."

_"No."_

"Shin?"

"Shuuya, I’m not kissing you. I’m sick."

Shuuya shook his head, gripping his boyfriend’s shoulders tightly and pulling him close.

"No, see, haven’t you heard? If you give your cold to someone else, you get better faster! It’s proven science! I think there was a study done on it somewhere…"

Shintaro stared at him blankly. “That’s not proven science. Just because you say there was a study done on it doesn’t meant that there was actually a study done on it.”

"Is that so? Well, I’ll do the study myself! C’mon, you can be my first test subject…" Shuuya leaned in a bit, pressing their foreheads together and speaking against his mouth.

Shintaro’s will faltered briefly, and just as he quirked his lips up to meet the other’s, the boy pulled back, a grin affixed to his face.

"You forgot to say the magic word!"

"Why do I have to say the magic word? You’re the one who wants a kiss."

"Because, because! That’s just how things work. And you want a kiss, too! Don’t get all high and mighty and act like you don’t."

Shintaro rolled his eyes, smiling softly before leaning back in once more.

"I love you."

The blond boy was just caught off guard enough for Shintaro to sneak in and press their lips together.

As soon as he pulled away, the boy pressed his red face against his shoulder, speaking quietly.

"Love you too."


	3. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

It had been over three hours since Shuuya had left to go get groceries.

True, the rest of the group had left them to guard the secret base while they toured with Momo for the week. And true, even though Shuuya had apologised for everything he had done, Shintaro still had the sneaking suspicion that he held a grudge against him.

But he honestly didn't think that Shuuya would be so childish so as to abandon him for the course of several hours in the base. It seemed a little cruel, actually. They weren't five years old anymore. Ignoring him wasn't going to fix the strained relationship between them, and it certainly wasn't improving his opinion of him.

If Takane was still Ene, she would tease him about how his thoughts have only centered around Shuuya as of late, how his gaze would drift to the boy if someone else didn't catch his attention and talk to him first. And being alone with him wasn't helping his cause, especially with the new information that Shuuya has a tendency to sleep curled up like a kitten, his knees close to his face and his mouth slightly open. And he  _snored,_ too. It wasn't the kind of snoring that made the house tremble and kept you awake all night.

Shuuya's snoring was more like that of a kitten's, soft and barely noticeable unless you focused your hearing only on the snoring itself.

Shintaro slammed his face against the side of the couch. He had really put way too much thought into Shuuya's sleeping patterns, the way Shuuya carried himself when they were alone, the way that Shuuya spoke, Shuuya, Shuuya,  _Shuuya..._

This was ridiculous. He was too old for this. It felt like he was in elementary school again, observing all of his classmates swoon around with their crushes as they discovered what love meant for the first time.

Pathetic, really. Shintaro stood up, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans and sauntering over to the fridge to pick up a soda. That always helped when he was left alone with his thoughts.

Just as his hand darted out to grab the can, the front door slammed open, and a drenched Shuuya stumbled in, clutching several grocery bags in one hand and breathing heavily. His other arm was clutched tightly around the front of him jacket, unmoving. Shintaro raised an eyebrow.

"It's raining?"

Shuuya stared at him blankly before looking down at himself and shaking his head rapidly, drops of water flinging across the floor.

"Never mind..." Shintaro frowned before approaching him tentatively and crossed his arms. "Where the hell were you? It's been four hours."

The blond shook his head, keeping his arm across his chest.

"Grocery shopping."

"Bullshit."

"It's not bullshit! See, here, look..." Shuuya reached down into one of the bags and pulled out a liter of soda. "Soda."

Shintaro stared at him. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Shuuya laughed lightly. It almost sounded forced.

"Oh, wow, you're in a bad mood... okay, okay... I'll just go put away the groceries now..."

As soon as the boy attempted to slip past him, Shintaro reached out and grabbed the arm crossed over his chest and tugged him closer, which he would later say was 'only because he didn't want to let Shuuya lie his way out of this'.

He was expecting Shuuya to push him away, maybe to flail his arms and hit him.

He wasn't expecting several kittens to drop out from under the fabric of Shuuya's hoodie.

Shintaro looked at the kittens. Looked at Shuuya. Looked back down at the kittens. Looked back up at Shuuya, who at this point, was beginning to look like a child who had been caught stealing an extra cookie from the cookie jar.

"... I found them on my way home... and I tried looking for an owner, but they had apparently been abandoned, so..."

The kittens mewled on the floor, apparently attempting to make their way back to Shuuya. One curled around his boot, gnawing at leather.

"I think that one's hungry." Shintaro murmured, pointing down at the small creature.

Shuuya looked at him doubtfully, narrowing his eyes. "You're not going to make me put them back outside? That kind of sounds like something you'd do."

Shintaro laughed bitterly. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not that bad. I'm still terrible, but who the hell would abandon kittens?"

One of the cats meowed.

"Maybe Tono will like having some company, anyway..." He murmured, more to himself than anything, before Shuuya's laugh snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Right, right, right...! Your bunny... I guess you have a soft spot for animals, don't you?"

"Only cute ones. The ugly ones can deal on their own."

"Ah! How cruel!"

Looking at Shuuya like this, something seemed different about him. Maybe it was the fact that he was completely drenched in rainwater, pieces of his golden hair stuck to his forehead and droplets running down the side of his neck. Or maybe it was his smile. It was different somehow, brighter and illuminating. The corners of his mouth quirked up, and Shintaro's hand reached out to ruffle the other's wet hair.

He pretended like he didn't notice when Shuuya went red, trying to convince himself that it was just because of the temperature change from outside.

"Go take a shower or something. I'll put the groceries away and feed the kittens."

Shuuya nodded uneasily, kicking off his boots and stepping away.

"Ah... sure, sure..."

As soon as he disappeared from the room, Shintaro slumped down to his knees.

Dammit, he just... he couldn't help it, Shuuya just looked so cute, it was ridiculous... Anyone's will would have broken seeing someone looking as cute as Shuuya just did. It wasn't because he had a  _thing_ for him or anything, it was just because he was  _acting_ cute...!

He stared at the ceiling, groaning loudly before grumbling to himself and pointing at one of the kittens.

"You. Kitten number one. You thought Shuuya was cute, right? I'm not going crazy or anything?"

The kitten stared at him.

"Fuck..." Shintaro collapsed face first onto the ground. "I'm going insane..."


	4. "Are you flirting with me?"

With a puff of steam, Shuuya stepped out of the bathroom. A trail of warm water dripped down his legs, towel tied precariously around his waist as he made his way to his bedroom. Shintaro had been right. A shower worked wonders for his muscles, and he didn't smell like rainwater anymore. Though, he rather liked the smell of rainwater. Maybe he shouldn't have showered after all.

It's about then that he realised that getting to his bedroom to put on clothes required crossing through the living room. Exactly where a certain Shintaro Kisaragi was sitting with several very hungry kittens.

Shuuya slammed his head against the wood of the door. If some deity were watching, they were obviously out to smite him. This was ridiculous. Standing in the hallway, the droplets of water sliding down his bare skin, he hiked up his towel to cover his chest as well as his waist before keeping his head low and scuffling across the area of the living room. He didn't need to look up to feel Shintaro's gaze locked on him.

It took every once of his will to ignore the boy's gaze burning against his skin. Even as he got dressed, he couldn't smear the feel of Shintaro's vision off of himself. When he slathered himself in lotion, because hey, soft skin takes work, the thin coating of cocoa butter did near nothing to remove the other's wandering eyes from him.

What a strange feeling. He stepped out of his room in nothing much more than a pair of sweatpants and an overly loose shirt. It was comfy. He needed comfy after the hell he had been through running around in the rain earlier. As soon as his bedroom door clicked shut, Shintaro turned around from his rather comfortable position on the couch (Shuuya's  _favourite_ spot on the couch- that asshole.) to face him.

"Your towel is weird. You don't need to carry it like that."

Ah, less than ten minutes out of the shower and Shintaro was already criticizing him. It was sort of sickening, actually. The boy's words sounded exactly like that of the younger Shintaro- the one who shook off every worry of his older sister's. Shuuya rolled his shoulders back, giving him a rather cold stare.

"You really think so?"

Shintaro nodded, looking off. A kitten sat in his lap, curled up close to his thigh.

"Like I said, you really don't need to carry it like that... You're not a girl, right? So it's not like you have..."

Shuuya raised an eyebrow.

"It's not like I have...?"

Shintaro shook his head before locking gazes with Shuuya, a completely serious look adorning his face. It would be almost intimidating if it weren't for the fact that his cheeks were stained a deep red. His voice became significantly more quiet.

"... Breasts."

They stared at each other for a moment.

Silence settled into the room.

It seemed like ages before Shuuya burst out into laughter. The sound bounced off of the walls, and if he were looking at Shintaro, he would have seen the boy's cheeks heating up even further.

"Breasts...!" Shuuya manage to sputter out, clutching at his stomach and sinking onto his knees. The longer he laughed, the more he began to realise that it wasn't the fake snickering that he had accustomed himself to.

How sad that he barely recognized his own laugh anymore. His true one. Even so, it was disgusting. Concentrating fully on his voice, it wasn't a difficult task to make it sound "normal", or at least the laugh that Shintaro always heard bubbling out from his lips. As the noise shifted, he could see Shintaro frowning slightly out of the corner of his eye.

Shuuya didn't know why, but it made him upset.

"Shut up, don't say the word again..."

"Oh, I can grow breasts if you want to see them," Shuuya teased, giving him a playful wink. His cockiness was all fake, of course. It was just part of the show that never ended.

Shintaro held up the kitten to shield his face, in what was presumably embarrassment.

"Don't joke like that. Just get over here, the kittens want to see you. They've been climbing on me since you left," He murmured, crossing his arms.

Shuuya approached the couch carefully, stepping over the throw pillows that had been haphazardly discarded on the floor and regarding the other's form with an annoyed stare.

"Shin, you're in my spot."

Shintaro looked around him before a light smirk graced his lips.

"Oh, I am? Sit somewhere else, then. This is my spot now."

Stomping his foot on the ground, Shuuya puffed out his cheeks childishly. No one gets his spot on the couch. It's  _his_ spot, everyone knows that.

"You're the one who told me to go take a shower, this isn't fair...!"

"I'm not moving."

Shuuya groaned loudly before moving over and sitting on Shintaro's lap. The boy beneath him immediately went silent.

He gulped quietly, suddenly regretting his stupid course of actions. He really should have thought this out a bit more.

"This... is my spot. So now you'll have to deal with me. Too bad for you!"

He half expected Shintaro to shove him off. Yet, the boy did nothing but clear his throat and nod slightly. As they sat, one of the kittens clawed its way up the cloth of his sweatpants and nuzzled its head against his waistband. Shuuya's breath hitched, the fur tickling against his skin.

"Did you feed them?"

Shintaro coughed a bit before nodding tersely. He could feel the boy's breath against his neck.

"They ate three cans of tuna."

"Three cans? Wow, they were hungry..." Shuuya trailed off before scratching behind the kittens' ears. "Were you hungry? Huh?"

The kitten stared back at him. Shintaro snorted a bit.

"Were you talking to the kitten?"

"Well, I wasn't talking to you, Shin," He snickered. "And besides, don't you talk to Tono sometimes? I would if I had a bunny!"

"Fine, fine, you got me... Tono is cute. She listens to what I have to say."

Shuuya laughed. It was unsettling just how difficult it was becoming to restrict his laughter.

"Of course she does! She's a bunny! She sort of  _has_ to listen to you, you know?"

One of Shintaro's arms snaked its way around his waist. His entire body stiffened.

"This is just to make sure that the kittens don't fall," Shintaro murmured, apparently ignoring his comments. Even as he said that, there was a slight stutter in his voice, as if he didn't honestly believe the words he was saying. Without waiting for a response from him, Shintaro immediately changed the topic.

"You're messy..." He chastised, running his fingertips along Shuuya's neckline. "Your hair is all out of place."

Shuuya forced himself to suppress his blush, with little success. When it came down to it, he really was an easy person to embarrass. He stayed silent for a moment before clearing out his throat and letting out a forced laugh.

"Ah, well, you know! It's my style! And besides, I just took a shower, so it's normal for my hair to be messy..."

He gulped as Shintaro's hand ran through his damp blond locks for the second time this evening. Even through the coolness of his wet hair, he could feel the boy's body heat. It was something of a slow, tender motion as opposed to the easy ruffling Shintaro had given him earlier. Shuuya swallowed a deep breath of air.

Affection was terrifying.

Especially when Shintaro didn't have the slightest clue as to his carefully crafted delusions.

Or at least... he didn't  _think_  that he did.

Nonetheless, the motion was scary and tender and made his heart pound hard against his rib cage until he felt as if he was about to explode. Vulnerability wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to, nor one that he wanted to be accustomed to.

"Are you flirting with me?" Shuuya snickered in his usual fake tone. Anything to break this sweet, horrifyingly sweet, moment.

Shintaro snapped his hand away.

"N-No... I just...! Your hair... it was messy, I was... fixing it, and...!" Shintaro stuttered out, trying to explain himself with rapid hand motions. "Dammit...! I was trying to be suave...!"

"Suave?" Shuuya tilted his head backwards, resting his forehead just under the other's chin. When he looked at the other like that, flushed and nervous, it made his stomach twist in regret. He forced himself to ignore it.

Shintaro let out a heavy sigh.

"Never mind..."

"Ah, well, you need to be punished for toying with me like that..." Shuuya let on, huffing slightly. Maybe he'd indulge himself. Just this once.

"Punished?!"

"Punished!" He grinned. "Now, let's see... what should your punishment be..."

The kittens mewled on his lap, obviously annoyed at being ignored for so long. Shuuya closed his eyes.

"Right, right...! Great idea, kitten..." He hummed, sliding his free hand down to clasp over the arm Shintaro had slung around his waist.

The other huffed quietly. "Are you talking to the kittens again...?"

"The kittens had a great idea. I'm going to sleep now, and you're going to be my pillow for tonight, Shin. That's your punishment. Isn't it just dreadful?" Shuuya's tone remained even, though his hands shook with uncertainty. Shintaro's gaze drifted down to his shaking palms before taking one of Shuuya's hands in his own and squeezing it gently.

"Terrible. I don't know how I'm going to deal with that."

"That's why it's a punishment! So... quiet. I'm trying to sleep, pillow."

Shintaro's laugh was nice. It was light, soft. He had never heard him laugh like that before. He almost seemed happy.

As Shuuya drifted off, he couldn't help but replay the scene over and over again in his mind.

Today, he'd indulge himself. Just a bit. A little affection would be okay, just as long as he didn't get used to it.

And he was sure he wouldn't. Shintaro was a smart boy. He'd figure it out soon enough. The poison slipped into his dreams just as he fell asleep, and even as he drifted off to the other's soft breathing against his ear, his body remained tense.

Shuuya Kano was, and would never be, anything short of unlovable.


	5. strings

She noticed them when no one else did.

Of course, she had tried, she really had. That is, to see if anyone else noticed them. They were sort of hard to miss. Red, bright, shining red. They entangled the entire Earth like a grid, crossing otherwise impossible distances. They stretched, bent, tangled, but they remained in tact.

She liked to call them soul strings.

Everyone else called them non-existent.

But they were real. If they weren’t real, how could she possibly see the futures of everyone mapping out just as the strings predicted? Celebrities on television whose strings didn’t even brush against each other would call it quits within several months, and those whose strings connected would recite vows without fail.

Her mother and father were connected, too.

When Tsubomi and Kousuke and Shuuya came in, their fingers were graced with the same, thick red strings that she saw adorning the streets like lights upon a Christmas tree. They stretched off far and wide, and try as she might have, the ends for their strings were nowhere in sight.

Shintaro came into her life, as did Haruka and Takane. The latter’s strings had always connected with each other. She had tried to explain this to Takane, but every time she attempted, the girl would blush furiously and scamper off somewhere, her string stretching and twisting behind her.

Shintaro’s string was an enigma. It stretched as if his partner was somewhere close by, but it never glowed, unlike strings usually tend to do when their ends are in close enough proximity. For a while, she had wondered if his end was Momo- a bit strange, but her idea was disproved when she saw the pair standing next to each other.

No, it was only when she brushed past Shuuya on the day of the festival that she realised what was going on.

As she and Shintaro had approached the shooting booth, with him murmuring something about how he really wishes the soda he had been served earlier hadn’t been so flat, her gaze locked on her two siblings walking side by side down the hallway, Tsubomi’s timid form flickering in and out of view.

And the glowing string that linked the stubborn, silent boy next to her with her bubbly little brother.

The realisation had hit her with such force that she had to temporarily stop walking, her train of thought coming to a screeching halt.

Shintaro seemed worried. Almost.

"… Are you coming or not?" He tapped his foot impatiently, crossing his arms.

A moment after her thoughts had processed, compressed, and fully clicked within her mind, she nodded once.

"Y-Yeah…! Sorry!"

Continuing down the hallway, she smiled down at her sides, her skirt swishing with every step she took.

The blunt stump of her own incomplete string moved along with her.


End file.
